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Do you ever just look at yourself in the mirror and think

I love a good road trip. The last road trip I went on was with two of my best friends to Chicago to visit another one of our friends. The three-hour drive gave way to some really great convos about life, the future, and… comparison? It all stemmed from the vein of vanity, which I guess probably is a pretty common topic for year-olds to delve into, but the discussion has kept me thinking ever since we returned home. I firmly believe that all of us start our lives liking how we look. Do you ever remember in the moments you spent running around your backyard at age three looking at yourself and thinking you looked too fat, too skinny, or too ugly?

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: LIFEHACK how to look at yourself the way others see you

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The Mirror Isn’t Your Problem

If you are struggling with low self-esteem, it may be difficult to look at yourself in the mirror. Mirrors reflect an image of ourselves back to us. Overcoming low self-esteem is achievable with some adjustments to your thought process and behavior.

Log in Facebook. No account yet? Create an account. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. By using our site, you agree to our cookie policy. Article Edit. Learn why people trust wikiHow. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice.

There are 13 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. Explore this Article Changing Your Thoughts. Changing Your Behavior. Related Articles. Part 1 of Identify the cause. Ask yourself why you can't look at yourself in the mirror. Did you do something that conflicts with your values and you're upset about it?

Do you feel unhappy with your appearance? Before you can overcome, you must be honest with yourself about what it is that is bothering you. Judge your actions, not yourself. Guilt or feeling badly about your actions shows that you are a good person who acknowledges a mistake has been made. You can deal with unproductive guilt by accepting you did something wrong, learning from your mistake, and moving on. Shame is feeling badly about yourself, unworthy or wrong.

To eliminate shame, avoid relationships with people who cannot see your self-worth based on yourself and instead foster relationships with people who recognize your intrinsic value.

Challenge your negative thinking. Try to love yourself more. Take active steps to love and accept yourself. Doing so will help you to look at yourself in the mirror.

There are a number of ways to help you love yourself for who you are: [4] X Research source Write down your strengths. Think about what you are good at. It could be that you are a nice person, that you are empathetic, or that you are great at tennis.

If you are having trouble thinking of strengths, ask those around you what your strengths are. Speak to your best self. Imagine that you are having a conversation with your best or ideal self. Think about what kind of advice your best self would give you. You may find that a part of you has intelligent, kind, thoughtful things to say to you.

Forgive yourself. If you can't look yourself in the mirror because you did something you're not proud of, try to remind yourself that we all make mistakes. Although easier said than done, instead of beating yourself up for what you did, think about how you can avoid doing it in the future and how you can repair what you have done.

Stop comparing yourself to others. Focus on yourself and how you can improve in ways that are important to you instead of thinking, "Oh look at her, she's so much prettier than me, why can't I look like that? Say you think about how someone is really good at cooking compared to you and this makes you feel envious and bad about yourself.

Try to change your thoughts by focusing on something else that you are really good at. Then, instead of comparing yourself to someone else, compare how good you are at it relative to your skill level 2 years ago. Focus on how you have been growing and improving rather than how you compare to someone else. Keep in mind when we compare ourselves to other people, we are often idealizing the other person in unrealistic ways.

Conversely, when we compare another person to us, we are not seeing a realistic version of ourselves. We are seeing a negatively biased version, where we are not giving ourselves the praise we deserve and allowing our inner critic to run amok in our heads.

Taking yourself out of this dynamic and praising yourself in your mind for things you do really well will help alleviate this behavior. To diminish comparing yourself to others, first you have to catch yourself thinking of a comparative thought. For example, if you think, "Gosh, I wish I was able to have a great career like Emily. I wonder what I can do to get ahead in a career I love.

Remind yourself that everyone is beautiful and life is a gift. You are beautifully unique. Your combination of genes, the environment you were raised in, they have worked together to mold you into a unique individual with a unique perspective and personality. Harness this and use it to empower you; work with the hand you were dealt and learn to embrace it and enjoy yourself.

Part 2 of Love others. Focus your attention outward rather than in. Direct yourself to focusing on loving and helping others. Loving and helping others may boost your self-esteem and make you feel much better about yourself.

You can: Buy tickets for the people behind you in line at the movies. Donate your time to a charitable cause you care about. Buy a nice warm blanket or meal for a homeless person. Spend time thinking about what makes someone in your life great.

Write him a letter saying as much and thanking him for being a part of your life. Try changing what you can. You may not be able to look in the mirror because you don't like how you look. While for the most part, your physical appearance is there to stay and it is psychologically important to learn to embrace yourself for who you are, you can in some cases take steps to actively change the way you look. If you are struggling with accepting the way you look and you are overweight, engage in steps to reduce your body fat.

If you do not like the way you look, you can also try giving yourself a make-over. Go buy some new clothes, get a new haircut, try out some new make-up.

Take a peek in the mirror and see what you think! Get outside help. If your negative thoughts stem from something you did or something you think about yourself, you may benefit from talking with someone about how you feel. Let your feelings be known and this can help to heal them. You may find that even venting and getting things off your chest is helpful.

Talk to a therapist. Seek out a psychotherapist in your area to help you work through your problems. Expand your posture. Start small. Go in front of the mirror and tell yourself you will only look at yourself in the mirror for 2 seconds.

Glance up at the mirror, look yourself right in the eyes while counting to 2. Once you are able to do this, increase the time to 3 seconds, then 4, then 5.

This is called exposure therapy and it can be an effective technique to overcome anxiety issues. Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Related wikiHows. More References 4. About This Article. Co-authors: Updated: March 29, Categories: Emotional Insecurity. Nederlands: Weer naar jezelf in de spiegel durven kijken. Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 44, times.

Reader Success Stories. SF Sophia Farrell Apr 14, I can't seem to forgive myself for my actions.

Seeing Yourself As Others See You

If you are struggling with low self-esteem, it may be difficult to look at yourself in the mirror. Mirrors reflect an image of ourselves back to us. Overcoming low self-esteem is achievable with some adjustments to your thought process and behavior.

What I saw shocked me. When did that happen?

So the next time your Size 2 friend moans about feeling chunky, try to avoid stating the obvious. Not only does this not help, research suggests it actually makes things worse. Factually speaking, I know this is utter nonsense. I even know logically that my lumps and bumps are normal contours of legs belonging to — err — a human.

Self esteem: Why do I look at myself in the mirror all the time?

One mirror is not enough to see yourself as others see you. When you look at a bathroom mirror you see an image of yourself with left and right reversed. If you don't believe it, extend your right hand to shake hands with yourself. The "person" in the mirror extends his or her left hand. A bathroom mirror switches left and right in any image it reflects. To see yourself as others do, you need a second mirror to undo the effect of the first mirror and switch the directions back again. Hold two hand mirrors in front of you with their edges touching and a right angle between them like the two covers of a book when you're reading. With a little adjustment you can get a complete reflection of your face as others see it. Wink with your right eye. The person in the mirror winks his or her right eye.

6 Ways to Get Through Days when you Feel Fat

Body dysmorphic disorder BDD is a mental illness where people think they look different to how they really look. People are usually said to have BDD if they are extremely critical of their body, even though there may be nothing noticeably wrong with it. If there is something wrong with their body, it is usually so small that a person without BDD would not be unhappy about it at all. People claim that they are insecure, but BDD is far worse. Most people without BDD may not like some parts of their body, but people with BDD believe that they are so ugly, even though they are not, that they find it difficult to talk or exist with other people, or live normally, scared that other people will be mean to them because of the way they look.

In fact even while choosing what to wear before stepping out of our homes, we are more worried about others and their preferences. In the past few days, just ask yourself how much time have you really spent thinking about yourself and what you like doing.

Can you not pass in front of a mirror without glancing at your image? David J. Lieberman, specialist on human behaviour and doctor in psychology, explains.

What 9 People See When They Look In The Mirror

Looking in a mirror is often a transformative experience, but whether that transformation is positive or negative depends on so many factors, both external and internal. I can look in the mirror six times in a day and see something different each time. And while I have grown to embrace and even love my reflection, that took a lot of work and a lot of practice. I asked nine different people what it is they see when they look in the mirror; their answers may surprise you, as they surprised me, for focusing not just on the readily apparent, but also what is internal.

By using our site, you acknowledge that you have read and understand our Cookie Policy , Privacy Policy , and our Terms of Service. It only takes a minute to sign up. I asked her what she does if after six months or so it becomes obvious that a salesperson is not bringing in business. Would she fire the person? To look someone in the eyes or in the face , or eye : as Rhodri says, this means to make eye contact with someone, and is considered a sign of sincerity, confidence, and absence of shame or guilt. As Rhodri said, it certainly has the same meaning as look myself in the eye.

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From the University of Colorado, he started a business consulting firm and a real estate development company. Henson and his wife, Sharon, have five children and seven grandchildren and live in Castle Pines, Colorado. Gary Henson. Are you unsatisfied with your current position in life? Is there is something you absolutely, positively must have out of your lifesomething youre not currently achieving? If so, what can you do now to get there? In Success, Wealth, and Happiness, author Gary Henson offers ten principles that can open your eyes, mind, thoughts, attitude, and belief system to a successful, wealthy, and happy you.

It's important to avoid seeing and dwelling on only negatives, putting yourself down, and Think about what kind of advice your best self would give you. If you can't look yourself in the mirror because you did something you're not proud of.

Kind of a twisted thing, if you ask me. But look in the mirror I do, and often shake my head at what I see there. How harshly do you judge your own features? How much of your body from the neck up do you try to hide under a comb-over or makeup?

Who do you see when you look in the mirror?


Body dysmorphic disorder




Why You Hate Looking in the Mirror, and How to Accept the Person You See There



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