Why do guys need space when stressed
Photo by Shutterstock. Why do men need space in relationships? Why do they get distant after sex or pull away when they are falling in love? Why do guys never know what they want?SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: He Wants Space! Why Men Need Space & What You Must Know!
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 5 Reasons Why You Need To Give Him Space
Why Men Pull Away, What It Means, & What To Do When It Happens
The most important thing in understanding stress in a man is realizing men respond to stress completely differently than women. A man is not going to respond to stress in the same way you do, and he is not going to respond to the same "helpful" behaviors from you that you would from him.
There are three hormones involved in stress reactions:. Cortisol and epinephrine are essentially produced in equal amounts in men and women during stressful events.
However, it is oxytocin, a bonding hormone also called "the love hormone" , that is produced and released in much lower amounts in men than women when stressed. In men, lower oxytocin levels lead men to a more typical "fight or flight" response. When stressed, men tend to:. In women, higher oxytocin levels lead to a "tend and befriend" response to stress.
When stressed, women tend to:. It isn't possible to hormonally change a man's reaction to stress, but it is possible to change a man's hormones in ways that can affect his mood. To help a stressed man, try the following. Increasing oxytocin can help with the "tend and befriend" response.
One of the easiest ways to increase oxytocin is through touch. When you touch a stressed man, it:. Hold hands, rub his arm as you walk past, or give him a massage. Through touch, you are not only letting him know you care, you are also helping his brain to release oxytocin, which can help reduce his stress. Increasing testosterone decreases cortisol, the stress hormone. Below are some ways you can help increase his testosterone levels. In couples, stress tends to hit both parties at the same time.
You can't help him with his stress level if your stress is also high. Prior to stressful events, both of you should make a list of activities that you can do separately to help you reduce stress. When stressed, pick things to do from your list until your stress decreases. Your lists can include anything:. Once your own stress level is decreased, you can then help him to reduce his. You aren't any good to anyone else if you aren't any good to yourself.
As stated above, men tend to be less supportive and more critical of their partners when stressed. However, research has shown when women are more matter-of-fact and less emotional regarding their own stress, men tend to respond more favorably.
Instead of giving a play-by-play of your entire horrible day, complete with your emotional responses, try giving just the basics. Likewise, respond to his stress in a less emotional, more neutral manner, such as saying, "I'm sorry you're feeling stressed. You'll find you will get a better reaction when you're more neutral than when you talk about how you just feel crushed about the fight you got into with Marcy at lunch today.
Men frequently have a difficult time processing their own emotional responses. When you add your emotions to theirs, they can get overwhelmed and become terse as a way of protecting themselves from further emotional impact. Try asking what you can do to help in a more neutral tone. Asking what you can do to help will make him stop and put some thought into what you can actually do. What may come easily to you when helping a female friend deal with a stressful situation may not be so easy when dealing with a man.
Men and women react to, and deal with stress very differently from each other. Be prepared for him not to turn to you as you would him.
Realize that for him, the tendency to want to be alone and ignore his stress is natural. For women, this is almost unthinkable. Encourage him to talk and let him know you are there. Expect him to work with you; you are, after all, in a relationship.
Just understand it may take a little more time than it would for you. All Rights Reserved.
7 Things All Men Need In A Relationship
Men are often reluctant to talk about their needs in intimate relationships. We need frequent reassurance about ourselves, our career paths, our efficacy as partners, our sexual prowess , and our attractiveness among other things. I have countless male clients telling me every month that their partners rarely let them know what they like about them. Why not just have more of a good thing?
Even the most madly in love couples need space sometimes. Alone time gives us the opportunity to focus on ourselves — which is never a bad thing — as well as explore our other interests, our relationships with our friends and family, and room to grow. People can't evolve when they're constantly glued to someone else's side. No one is posting a picture of themselves taking a yoga class alone or reading a book! But individuals and relationships thrive on having a nice balance of together time and alone time.
Why Men Need Space
Or hanging up the phone a little bit quicker than usual. Or emotionally open. So what should you do? Let him take the time he needs without you reaching out to him and re-inserting yourself into his life. Give him space to miss you. It hurts to think about the possibility of him leaving you. That hurt, that pain, and that anxiety is what drives you to cling onto him even more. To be clear: any and all of those reactions will drive him even further away, maybe for good. What does fear of loss mean for your relationship, and why does it send him running away from you?
What to Do When a Man Pulls Away or “Needs Space”
It can be incredibly confusing, you and your girls agree. Things were going great for a while. You were sure that he was into you. You went on dates. Maybe you even got busy in the bedroom.
Maybe I Will is growing!! I am so excited to introduce another contributor to the Maybe I Will family. Craig L Boucher is one of the coolest guys I know.
15 Tips On How To Give Him Space And Make Him Miss You
The most important thing in understanding stress in a man is realizing men respond to stress completely differently than women. A man is not going to respond to stress in the same way you do, and he is not going to respond to the same "helpful" behaviors from you that you would from him. There are three hormones involved in stress reactions:. Cortisol and epinephrine are essentially produced in equal amounts in men and women during stressful events.
Being left wondering why men pull away when things seemed really good in relationships can leave anyone feeling confused, panicked, and rejected. The first thing you should know is that this isn't necessarily a bad thing for your relationship. In fact, when you accept his request and give him space, it can actually be an opportunity to bring you closer together as a couple. Most people occasionally need some time by themselves to investigate and figure out their deepest feelings and thoughts. By following my best dating tips and advice below, you can learn how to make him miss you and want him more than ever by doing a few things that will help sway his emotions and decisions in your favor. When a man says he needs his space, there are usually two things happening simultaneously inside his head.
9 Signs You Should Give Your Partner Space & How To Effectively Do It
In this video, I explain why a guy might say he needs space and what you can do about it. If you want to learn how to be the confident woman who can give a man the space he needs, then go here. But as you probably realized, interpersonal relationships are much different. Interestingly enough, men and women react quite differently to stress. For example, men who are stressed out become more self-centered, want to get back into their own space and deal with it on their own. Whereas for women, the exact opposite is true. When he asks for space, I recommend you give him a gap week.
Few things are as frightening or nerve-wracking as a man needing space. The way they process and experience things is different. Taking space is a natural coping mechanism for most men, just as seeking out support from friends and loved ones is a natural coping mechanism for most women. The number-one reason a man pulls away is that he is stressed.